When my daughter was a toddler she used to play a game she called "stuck in the mud." The game consisted of her jamming all of her tiny plastic animals into a layer
of play-doh, and chanting, "I'm stuck in the mud!" over and over again. The fate of the animals was inevitable, but it was a mesmerizing game nonetheless.
The stuck in the mud game often comes to mind these days because I think it pretty effectively illustrates my current cognitive state of being. I'm definitely stuck. I have spent years (decades) working toward becoming a tenured academic staff member at a prestigious university. I have a very impressive CV (it's 20 pages long!). I'm well respected (I think). And yet, a few months ago I walked away from all that in what seemed to some like an impulsive decision to move my family to the west coast, to an undetermined location where I definitely did not have a job. I had been feeling a tremendous emptiness--a void--for ages, and I needed to do something big.
And so, here I am, over-educated and unemployed on Vancouver Island. I do love it here, truly. The people are warm and the ethos of the community is a better fit for me than anything I've experienced in a long time. But it doesn't change the fact that I myself remain directionless, stuck. I don't know what I want to do or who I want to be. I don't know what I enjoy or what would motivate me. I know that I want to lead a life of significance, a life that makes a difference not just to myself but to others as well. I want joy and purpose and fulfillment to be a part of it, but most importantly I'd like to feel that my existence is consequential.
I don't know where to start, and things got really funky for me just before Christmas 2019. I was watching a lot of Netflix, only stepping outside to walk the dog. Despite my stunningly beautiful surroundings I couldn't motivate myself to do much other than eat bean chips and play solitaire. One day after Christmas I heard a voice that was probably mine say, "enough." I had to do something to figure myself out.
So this is The Significance Project. My goal, ultimately, is to determine what will help me to lead a life of significance, a life of consequence. I'm going to dig in to anything I can get my hands on that might help me, from peer reviewed journal articles to podcasts to documentaries. My goal is to blog regularly to summarize and analyze what I'm finding, all the while talking about this with some critical friends.
I want to get un-stuck, out of the mud.
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